For Jessie Lyric Phoenix

I finally did it! Read every post and got my favorite line from each one. It's been really cool to be able to get to know you through your writing. You have such a strong voice. I love it. I am so sorry it's awfully late.

I thought I had a type, but then I saw you.

-You're so #different

My childhood was filled with crying and the word no.

-Do I Even Want my Crayons

The world is a canvas, and fall is a masterpiece.

-Fall... The Season

The water seems to smile.

-Silver

His is sent into the sky joining all the others.

-More Than Just a Hat

My sweet melodies from people ho have captured my highest respect.

-My Sweet Melodies

I seek the great perhaps in my life.

-Welcome

I am that look in your eyes I haven't seen in months.

-I am Everything

I knew I was never meant for someone great.

-Well Shit

A crossroads with infinite options.

-Thinking

It only adds a fire in your eyes.

-Depression Meets Happiness

I yearn for the days I could sit down and type out my feelings in beautiful sonnets.

-Trying

We want to fly.

-I've Been

I'd like to quote a person I hold dear in my heart.

-I don't Know

Do what you love instead of planning to do hat you love.

-Hello my old Heart

It's been a year now. I still miss you.

-Letters to the Hitchhikers in my Life

To embrace what's so far away.

-How to Shit on Your Life

I just want to be happy. I don't need money. I don't need fame.

-My Dark Passenger

I feel. I touch. I hear. I smell. I taste. I'm alive.

-I'm Alive

And mother nature was put there just so I can have my first kiss in the rain.

-What the Bricks

You took a part of me with you when you said your goodbyes. And I think there's a reason I haven't gotten it back yet... You are one "what if" I do not want to look back on.

-YOU

We may never have fallen in love, but all of us know what it is.

-LOVE. The Great Unknown

My life is an equation with a missing written number.

-Who am I

We've made life a competition. And the only prize is a wasted life.

-I'm not Human I'm Real

There's nothing wrong with taking a break.

-Life. Is. Hard.

Love got distracted by a butterfly.

-Face it

How do I make everyday memorable?

-What to Write

But darling we have Neverland.

-We Are The Lost Boys

I still can't decide if I was too much or if you were too lazy.

-To Every Boy I've Ever Loved Liked

Our imagination is our limit.

-Dreams

And sometimes perspective doesn't know where to draw the line. 

-Perspective

I wondered, what their stories were and suddenly I was making up a story for everyone I saw.

-Who Knows?

I evolved into a dreamer.

-When

Uncurl your soul, and search for the door where the air is fresh and crisp. You've been through enough. You deserve it.

-Depression is

Fake smiles and come unsewn.

-Alone

P.S.-Please tell me if you have read this because, well, it'd be nice to know.

-Words to You (Hopefully You Know Who You Are)

You know I'm a dreamer.

-In This World

Go ahead and look for that day. But also look at where you are now, And act. Live. Push on and fight.

-Day To Day

So screw the status quo.

-Realize

You'll always want to truthfully say, "I am real."

-I am Real

The clouds are covering the stars tonight.

-Stars are Gone

I'm scared, I'm hurt, I'm worried, I'm a wall, I'm two different people, I'm confused, I'm never going to get out of this. I'm not going to fall in love with falling. 

-Lost

You think you know it all, More than I ever will, But I'll get to my ball, And your world will become still.

-To The Jackass

But it's hard when nobody believes in me.

-Ghost

Everyday you went out into life believing, knowing, that things were going to get better.

-Fix

I have more fear in me than bones and blood.

-Where the Truth Runs Free

I cannot just mindlessly choose something that will influence every aspect of my life.

-100% Not For You

Stop thinking and accept it.

-Doubt 

All we want is to die knowing that we achieved true happiness.

-Happiness

Life degraded me into a mere inconvenience.

-Fall

I thought true love could last.

-Hopeless

Something wrong, for all that's right.

-Only for Me

Born a costar.

-Keep Scrolling

Never will I let such a beautiful life go unnoticed.

-Goodbye

But best friends are never supposed to leave.

-My Dear Friend

It's just an illusion. A stupid meaningless illusion.

-Nothing but Dead Ends

I am what I am, So I'll do what I can, I'll speak my no's, And consider the pros.

-Courageous

And I'd rather have little than nothing at all.

-Inspired

So tell me. Where is your heart.

-Home

My life is me on roller coaster in pitch black. I don't know where I'm going, but the tracks are there, and they're taking me to the light.

-Something New

Even though it does have scratches it doesn't care, because when it is doing what it is designed to do it is happy, and it doesn't want your stupid fancy qualities, because, in it's own petite life, it. is. perfect.

-Not Just a Box

How can this world be real when it's so made up?

-How?

Because it's hard to admit, but I was falling for you.

-Untitled

Since I met you not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of you.

-This Is Not A Poem, Nor Is It For You

I'm so antisocial that the only thing that can make me the slightest bit happy is sitting curled up in a corner with a book.

-Confession Time

I'm usually wrong.

-Where do I go From Here?

I walk through the halls feeing so small.

-Unfinished

Though I don't want it to end I'm only holding onto the stories from the past.

-A Tribute To A Friend

Darkness, It's all I feel.

-Darkness

You just know the world's out to get you sometimes, and sadly the world plays favorites.

-Life, Love, And Depression

Of course there's never just a beginning.

-The Beginning

Blackout Poetry

I wish I was Victoria

I wish I was Victoria. 

She's confident and open. She doesn't care what she posts no matter how dark or who she swears in front of in fear of her mother finding out. She will comment on blogs and participates in class.

I've tried to be more like Victoria. 

Writing in my spare time. And getting lost in the blogs. I swore in front of my mother this past week when I burnt my hand on the stove and got in a lot of trouble. I'll type out comments but delete them thinking they're too stupid and I raised my hand once but I guess Nelson didn't see.

Sorry mom.

However I am not Victoria.

I know this because I only got up for journal jam twice this semester. And both times my heart was pounding and my palms were sweating and I stumbled over all my words. I second guess my writing. Erasing instead of crossing out. I know Nelson says that creativity is the messy, raw stuff. But I just can't write in the margins.

You all know the Victoria side of me. 

It's time for the other side of me. 

I'm embarrassed when people read what I write in fear of the criticism. I can count the number of close friends, friends I can open up to, I have on one hand. It's 4. Crowds give me anxiety, yet I look forward to Comic Con every year. A lot of people don't believe me when I say I'm naturally blonde, because I've dyed my hair since 9th grade. I hate starting conversations and often come off as standoffish but I really do love talking with people. 

My name is Hannah Nufer. 

My creative writing journey is coming close to an end. I want to thank all of you for all the good times I've had so far and look forward to the rest of our time together as well. I've enjoyed reading your blogs and getting to know you that way. Maybe I'll work up the courage to say 'hi' in the hallways.

Christmas

I never cared for Christmas music. Until I met you. Too annoying because it would always get stuck in my head. Yes I am that kind of person that rolls her eyes when I hear Christmas music before Thanksgiving. I don't come to the door when Carolers come around. You won't find a Christmas station on my Pandora. Not even Christmas day do I listen to Christmas music. 

In June we drove around in your car and I found a Christmas album. 

"Isn't it a little early for Christmas music?" I asked turning the CD over to see what it had. All the classics you hear on the radio 2-3 times a day in December. 

"It's never too early for Christmas music!"

Unconvinced I put the CD down and we continued on our drive.

Now I'm sitting here and you're 911.1 miles away and I won't see you again for 104 days 17 hours 23 minutes, not that I'm counting, and I'm missing you. I've turned on some Christmas music hoping to feel closer to you. 

Paris Broke My Heart

Let's get one thing straight.

I've never liked you

You've never inspired me or made me a better person. 

All semester long we've been trying to find you. I've searched and searched but still no sign of you.

After this... well Paris quite frankly I don't want to look anymore. When I visited you, you really let me down. You were dirtier than expected. The people were rude. I never found a croissant and Notre Dame was a lot smaller than I thought. It might be unfair to blame you for those things. 

But I blame you anyway

I can live with those however. It was just a let down and nothing too serious. Well... the banana on my crepe wasn't ripe enough, that one's pretty serious. 

What you did to break my heart wasn't your fault in all honesty. It's not your fault you were invaded and attacked. When I heard the news of all the lives lost, that's when my heart broke. I could have sworn it stopped beating for a minute. I just went numb. 

Let me tell you something Paris. I know someone who was supposed to be at that concert. Luckily his plane was delayed and he ended up never leaving Germany. But you got me thinking. Thinking about how different things would be without him. First off I will admit it probably wouldn't have affected me so much. Yes I do know him but only a little. He's my sisters boyfriend. I met him twice but he seems like a nice guy. That dear Paris would have torn my sister to pieces. I love her and I want what's best for her. I can't imagine how bad it would've hurt to lose him like that. 

But I can't blame you this time

It's not your fault this happened. It's not your fault you were attacked. It's not your fault my mind thinks of situations that didn't even happen. You broke my heart because after all this time I've spent resenting you and never giving you an honest chance to inspire me, I feel awful. I wish there was something I can do for you, more than just changing my Facebook profile picture.

I'm really sorry Paris

I Wrote Your Name in Concrete

I wrote your name in concrete

In concrete it remains

I wrote it on the corner of State Street

And 81st

I wrote your name in concrete

Because I knew it'd always stay

You'd whisper to me sweet nothings

About you and me forever 

I wrote your name in concrete

Thinking somehow, someway

That would make your love not fade

But love doesn't work that way

I wrote your name in concrete

I guess you just wrote mine in pencil 

On the back of an old receipt

How to comfort me in 10 steps

1. Don't tell me it will be okay or that what I'm feeling won't last forever

Tell me you'll help me be okay 

2. Wrap me in your favorite blanket

or 2 or 3

3. If you say "I'll never leave you" keep your promise

Don't give me hope that you might actually care

4. Disney movies

Mulan never fails to make me smile. Or Aladdin, Pocahontas, Little Mermaid...

5. Don't tell me it's all in my head

They don't call it a "mental illness" for nothing

6. Find Wolfy and give her to me

Yes I do still have a stuffed animal thank you very much

7. Don't tell me you care

Show me

8. Hugs

20+ second hugs releases oxytocin

9. Offer to take me for a drive up the canyon

It's my favorite place. Especially in Fall

10. Listen

Sometimes I don't need someone to tell me "I'm here for you" or "It will be alright" sometimes I just need someone to sit and listen. I might come off as shy and quiet at first but in reality, have a lot to say